The Dying Programmers
One morning on #lisp we did some mental and creative warm-up by wondering how programmers die in their respective programming languages.

Alas, of course we know we are immortal, we can't DIE in that sense. But what do we do instead when we shuffle off the mortal coil? Here are some hints:

<emu> "Java programmers don't die. They just throw without catch."

<Jabberwockey> C programmers don't die either. They segfault.

C programmers don't die. They get cast into void.

<dankna> Basic programmers gosub without return.

<dankna> What do Lisp programmers do?

<emu> unwind-protect

<Jabberwockey> Basic. To boldly goto where no programmer has written code before...

<emu> Lisp programmers never die; they just call a restart

<Jabberwockey> APL users don't die either. They get mumified in case anyone ever needs to decipher their programs in the future...

<emu> Jabberwockey: no that's perl

<emu> Jabberwockey: actually, not even they could understand what they wrote

<emu> APLers don't die; they just become another operator

<Jabberwockey> emu: Haskell users don't die either. They get caught by a guard.

<emu> nah, they're too lazy to die

<emu> Lisp programmers get garbage collected...

<emu> ML programmers are frozen

<emu> haskellers get curried

<emu> so do MLers tho

<dankna> SQL programmers don't die, they just unwind the transaction.

<Jabberwockey> Prolog users don't die, they get cut

<emu> they backtrack

<emu> C++ programmers don't die; they have to read template code forever

<emu> so finally, Java programmers don't die; they just degenerate into primitive types

<Jabberwockey> Visual Basic programmers don't die. That's what the MS API is for.

<emu> Kernel hackers don't die; they panic

<Jabberwockey> Mozilla programmers will die when they reach version 1.0. In other words: never.

<Jabberwockey> IRC-using programmers don't die, they just QUIT

<dankna> "... they just get lost in the netsplit.

<kt> Bad programmers go on safari in flashy debuggers and are not seen again..

Smalltalk programmers don't die, they walkback

lispers don't die, for it takes eternity to understand the standard

asm programmers can't die, it's not in the instruction set